unbelievable

(8)If I never knew you, I would live my whole life through lost forever if I never knew you.

"Just stay on the phone with me til you fall asleep and I'll meet you there.."
Something this good can't be real.
My gut feeling is actually being positive about this.
Finally my heart and mind agree on one thing. And that's you.
Thanks for staying up til 6 with me.

* She's not saying goodbye. You took a good deal of her life and you made a great impact.
You deserve to stay where you are. It may not be now, but maybe, just maybe, it'll be later.
Maybe..


- gmari .

yield

So, school's almost done. Finally. Prom's like, NEXT WEEK. I'm going insane here.
I'm sooo excited. Besides the fact that I'm in excrutiating pain, I couldn't be happier.
I dropped dead weight (not literal) and I'm so strung out.. :)
Life could be better, but for now I'm ecstatic.
Kinda, FML still though..
MISS KERI BABY + AJ RAFAEL = <3


- gmari .

funny

Everything seems to die out around me.
Time to get lost in music.


- gmari .

as if..

As if I'm gonna let you break my heart again.
You're funny.


- gmari .

<3

I'm in fucking love with Keri Hilson.


- gmari .

use-ful/less

Funny how you want one thing and then end up wanting another.
It gets hard to keep track of all these feelings.
I got to remember to not latch on.
...or if I am, must get off quickly..


- gmari .

fifty/fifty?

At this point, anything goes.
Let the chips fall where they may.
Whatever happens, happens.


- gmari .

easyamusement

I find very ironic that stereotypes obliging to uniqueness, fall under the stereotypical name.
I also find it a bit hypocritical since they STILL don't know it.

I may be what you call a hypocrite in those terms..
but, what you probably don't know is that;
I don't claim to be unique or different..
I guess that's what sets me apart from those hypocritical stereotypes.
Sets me apart, or binds me? The fuck should I know?


- gmari .
P.S. Did that mindfuck you as much as it did me?

stupidity

I seriously should've just given this up from the start.
Why'd you have to waste your time on me?
I usually hate nightschool, but tonight wasn't so bad.
Had a very interesting conversation about books, movies and Harry Potter.
It was such a dead day today overall, but hey..
nightschool ACTUALLY got my mind off things...
For now..


- gmari .

done

I'm seriously done with you.
You can only piss me of so much to a point where I can't take it anymore.
I'm fed up.
Goodbye JJLT.. Hello AJRB :)


- gmari .

proud

I can't be bothered to make what's supposed to be in the past, work.
Never thought I could think of someone else so much when with someone else..

Can't believe I feel this way, and knowing you could feel the same,
it's just so amazing.


- gmari .

addiction

SO, the mother's day weekend is done, and I'm practically done my prom shopping.
I just have no idea wtf to do with my hair. I might have to buy gold shoes.
Achk, anyway, today was not bad not bad.. I smiled big time most of the day.
So tomorrow's the trip to see Midsummer night's dream then nightscool.
Whoopdi-frickin-doo. Well, I'm happy.

This attachment to you.. it's getting really addicting.
You're getting addicting.


- gmari .

thankful

"Instead of crossing my mind, you should stay there."


- gmari .

DenyingDenial

He was blaming it on the alcohol, but it's obvious he was lying.
Caught up in his own damn lie and covering it up with more lies.
No matter what she says, he'll always deny. Then he'll deny that he denied.
What the fuck?

The best release is music.
I'm a bit disappointed today.. for numerous reasons. Fuck my life.

" I know how you feel babylove, it's eating me up inside. " - OHHANNAH


- gmari .

regret

I should've just stuck with giving up.

Me and my stupid mouth.
I'm never speaking up again, it only hurts me.
I'd rather be a mystery than he desert me.
I'm never speaking up again starting now..


- gmari .

fml

There's a point in time when you wake up just to fall down,
walk around downtown for hours,
get aching feet,
go to nightschool,
come late after break,
get a disappearing headaches
and have an awkward conversation about b.o.,
where you have to say,
FUCK MY LIFE.

Did I mention that I HATE nightschool?


- gmari .

sufferage

My weekend was a tiring one.
Although, finally with a prom dress, I don't have a date or a ticket.
I'm more concerned about the ticket thing than the whole date thing.
So, uhm, I hate spiders. And I hate being paranoid.. especially about them.
Blehck, so here's an overview on my day today...

Karman wasn't here for first period.
Which is really odd since she's usually here the day before a trip.
In second, were starting on Brazil. Fucking shit..
I hate these stupid maps on the landforms.
Makes me wanna DIE. Lunch was blah.
Spent like the entire lunch listening to my friend's problems and stuff.
Then decided to buy him a drink, but he wasn't there to get it from me.
I was happy when I saw him and got a hug.
ANYWAY, third literally made me feel like passing out.
I felt like sleeping or dying.. whichever.
Then in fourth I felt just like passing out on the couch in comtech and fade away.
OMG, I'M SOOO TIRED.

So like, I'm having second thoughts about things.
Then again, I always am.
I always put myself in the negative connotaions that I forget that I'm not supposed to.
MEAH. Trip tomorrow, chillage tomorrow, night school tomorrow.

Someone PLEASE kill me :(


- gmari .

undeniable

I can't sleep right.
I'm gaining insomnia because of this, but I don't want it to stop.
I'm hallucinating and my thoughts circle around this one target that seems to pinpoint my heart towards it.
Butterflies, but it's alright. I know better this time.
I'm not gonna put everything I can into this, because what happened before always seems to happen again and again.
I'm careful now. I know better now.

Thinking twice never appealled to me before, but here I am thinking thrice.
Smartest thing I've ever done in a while.


- gmari .

infatuation

I haven't blushed this much since august :)

p.s. I finally got my prom dress, now I just need my ticket..


- gmari .

reoccurance

Usually, on fridays, I take a five hour nap. Which I just did.
I woke up from it like, 40 mins ago, so I'm a bit shaky.
I had this dream.. and it's always been the same one.
The same dream for more than a week now. Why? I'm not quite sure.
But it always ends the same. With a big fat nothing or question mark at the end.
This is something I'm probably going to write a note about on facebook..
and give out the whole dream on livejournal. It's the weird of a dream.
Well, it's not exactly weird, it's just been extremely repetitive.
I wake up with butterflies in my stomach and I feel weak-kneed.
It's a waste of a feeling because I know what's going to happen.
The same thing always happens in real life as oppose to the dreams.
In dreams, the wishes come true. In reality, nothing ever really works out.

Speaking of reality, today was a slow day for me.
It was kind of, 'all work and no play'. I went to
town after school, and I regret not going to Norma Reeds
to look for a nice yellow prom dress. Speaking of prom,
I have to buy my ticket this coming week, or I think I
might slap someone. I'm kinda of persistant on this without
being totally committed yet. In buying the ticket, I mean.
Hmm, well, I saw Darwin today. Haha, haven't in the longest
time. Like, we honestly planned to see eachother in like..
feb or march, and we see eachother NOW. How fortunate can
you get with time? WOW, another mindfucking idea!
..Oh let me tell you about that..

So on facebook, I'm writing notes about subjects that mindfuck you.
Mindfuck, meaning they're things you'd never think to think of and
when you think of it, you think hard and long trying to figure everything
out. It's really ironic in a way. Anyway, I'm trying to think of these
ideas so I can mindfuck my ownself and others along with me. Well,
that's half true, I just want people to start thinking outside the
box, because, well.. it's just that much more interesting.

I don't know what else to say but, my "mediocre attempts"
are way too mediocre to attempt (haha). Meaning that I don't
want to anymore. As my previous entry will tell you, I've given up.
It's not that I pussied out or anything, but that I've given this
alot of thought and finally came up with a solution. What's the
point in trying if it goes nowhere? But then I'm thinking.. should
I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements? WHOOT! Song reference!

Anyway.. this'll conclude my thoughts.
As do all my thoughts end with a musical reference
and you know what that means? It's time to listen to that song :)


- gmari .